Understanding Yourself in a New Light

Seeing the “Why” Behind Your Reactions

With a new season on the horizon, many of us are beginning to look at ourselves with a little more honesty and a little more courage. Not because everything suddenly shifts overnight, but because life has a way of revealing patterns we did not notice before. Sometimes those patterns show up so clearly that we say, “I can’t make this stuff up.” And truly, we couldn’t.

Our bodies remember what our minds try to outrun. They come from experiences that taught our nervous systems what felt safe, what felt dangerous, and what felt familiar, even when none of it was ever spoken out loud.

Many of us are beginning to recognize that real transformation does not only start with changing habits; it starts with understanding the impetus behind them. The deeper experiences that shaped how we learned to cope.

Some of us overeat because food became the safest comfort we had when emotional support was missing. Some of us struggle with anger because it was the only emotion we were ever allowed to express without consequence. Some of us people‑please because keeping the peace once felt like the only way to stay emotionally safe or "liked."

When we understand the “why” beneath the habit, the habit itself finally makes sense and that’s when real change becomes possible.

This is where Dr. Brené Brown’s work hits hard for me. Her explanation of how people avoid accountability, shift topics, or disconnect when they feel exposed is powerful. (Resource: Click here to enjoy her podcast) She reminds us that emotional honesty requires grounding, and grounding requires awareness.

I’m not writing this as someone who has mastered every lesson. I’m writing as someone learning too as a student of my own patterns, just like you.

We are in this together! Cynthia Malone